Is it September yet?

This is what summer is suppose to be like!

Two weeks ago, I had such high hopes for my first "summer vacation" as a parent.  In my mind it would be two and a half months filled with adventures, art projects, cooking and play dates and just all around F U N.

It has been two weeks, and I am thinking that September can't get here fast enough.  As I sit and type this, I am on the floor upstairs on guard between the two bedrooms.  Coco (2) is screaming.  She has become an escape artist these last two weeks, getting out of her crib at least 5 - 10 times a night before she falls asleep.  Vivienne (almost 4) is just waiting for her moment to sneak into Coco & Audrey's room to "entice" Coco to escape, then run back into her bed and pretend it was all Coco's idea.  Audrey is trying to sleep, but if Coco does get out she will start screaming.

Other happenings since this "glorious" thing called summer vacation has started?  No naps.  The two oldest have revolted.  Up until two weeks ago we would get home from picking Vivienne up, eat lunch & then it was off to naps.  Usually two hour stretches ... oh the things I accomplished with two out of three (and sometimes even all three!) napping.  Speaking of sleep reduction ... did I mention bed time still being 8:00 has stayed but sleep doesn't come until 9:00 or 9:30???  As all of you moms know, yes, they are still up at 6:30.


What else?  The girls are fighting more, crying more, and having more tantrums.  (I guess I can be considered one of the girls too for this example.)  The house is a mess (more than usual) and I can't keep up.  I am so tired at night I am REALLY behind in all things household.

Ok - now (9:02 pm) Vivienne is yelling because Coco's crying is keeping her awake & Audrey has joined in the crying ... I just had to put Coco back in bed.  I laid Audrey back down (she was standing up) and she LAUGHED at me.  My 10 month old laughed at me. ... now she is back to screaming, Coco is yelling Maahhhhmmmeeee ...


I am just feeling lost, dazed and a bit confused.   Who are these kids and do they really have no school for 10 more weeks?   I am about ready to find a summer school ... any school and put them in.  I think in reality, though, what I need is to be more organized.  It is now 100% up to me to determine the routine and schedule.  I don't have to be anywhere every day.  I think they are feeling a little lost too.  They went from seeing their friends every day to ... well, hanging out w/ each other and me.   I think I need to regroup and go with my original plan.  A lot of parks, play dates, and weekly day trips.  Get myself out of the house in the process.  Set it up with a schedule, like school, we have to be at the park by 9:00 am for example.  I did join a gym which has childcare.  A friend and I have committed to trying to go together, so I have that going on too (subject for a future post!).

I would love to hear what your stratagies are?  Moms who have been doing this summer vacation thing for a while?  Give me & others your tips!  What did you find really worked?

We're going to the park, Damn it!

School is out.  This is my first year of "summer vacation" since I was in school over 15 years ago.  I forgot what it felt like.  The anticipation of no schedule.  The luxury of not having to be out the door by 8:30 am.  What I didn't realize with small kids though, is with summer vacation brings hours of unscheduled time.  For those of you moms out there ... yes, you know, that means chaos.

I decided that we would fill our summer with many park trips, play dates and a few day trips.  Tuesday was day one.  A simple trip to Walnut Creek City Park.  It is a really cool park, a lot of grass and trees as well as a fun playground complete with water / sand area.  Now, this seems like it should be no big deal.  For nine months now, we have been out the door and on time to school by 9 am.  Some days have their drama, but not too bad.  SO why today, when we are going to the park for FUN do I get this???

Coco behind the couch thrashing and screaming

she didn't want shoes on ...

Even Audrey was throwing a fit before we left!!

I did it though ... I got out the door, calm, cool and collected.  Inside I was dying to scream out, "Will you SHUT UP??  We are going to the park, DAMN IT!!!"  I know, however that will do little good.  It really only makes things worse.  So into the car we went ... and off to the park.

Once we got there all was right with the world.  The girls hit the swings.  A must for the Magu girls.  The playground wasn't of interest to them though.  They kind of walked around the structures.  Vivienne went down a slide a few times.  Then they spotted it.  A mud puddle.  

The girls had so much fun running through it, how could I say no??  I don't think the other moms appreciated it.  There were several other kids who wanted to join in but weren't allowed.  I even got a great shot of Colette!  My little miss "just try and take my picture".

So just a reminder to all of you moms out there .... just when you think the world is full of fits, screams, and tantrums ... go to the park, damn it.

week "wasted"

In one of my last posts I talked about all that I needed to get done this week.  Well, here it is, Friday and the number of things checked off of my list?  ZERO.  I got some other things done, but all in all had an unproductive week.  I wasn't doing nothing.  With three kids I can't do nothing.  It is the "extra" stuff that gets pushed to the side.  I did work at my "paying" job, have a fun night with some girl-friends, spent all day in SF for an appointment, and even moved the lawn!

It is weeks like this I really wonder if I have what it takes to run my own business.  On an exciting note, the grapic design part is done.  Files are in my computer ready to be uploaded to ETSY and sent to a printer ... that was fun, but also shadowed by the fact that I am tired (which I have learned is just a fact of life in your late 30s) and behind on other things.

Here's to cutting myself some slack, and just taking one small step at a time moving forward.  As long as I am moving forward ... I will get to my goal.  That is one thing we can all remember.   No matter how small of a step you take, you are closer to your goal than you were before you took that step.  Remember the movie, What about Bob? ... it is all about baby steps.  So, here is to a week that was full of baby steps and to a week starting Tuesday of a few goals being reached!

Who is incharge?

I was very blessed when my oldest was born to find a pediatrician who was an "expert" on kids & a God-sent for first time moms & dads.  Are you asking, aren't all pediatricians experts on kids?  No, I don't think so.  Let me explain.  He was (as far as I could calculate) 80 years old.  He was confident and very good at helping guide new moms and dads.  He had these "cheat sheets" that he would hand out at each appointment.  They gave you in site into what you would be experiencing during that time frame and advise on how to handle it.  He also gave out his home numbers for you to call in the mornings if you had questions.  These sheets were honest and realistic.  I remember one that said (at 18 mos - 2 yrs) something like ... there are times you may not like your child ... . Or the newborn sheet given at the initial consultation that said your new born may be "ugly" (well, he didn't use THAT word, but did tell you it may not be this beautifully shaped glowing white smooth skinned baby you see in the movies.)  When I  read these sheets I felt as though he had a hidden camera in my apartment and was giving tips just for us.

I also loved the nurse's advise when both my husband & I came for the first newborn appointment.  She told us that moms and dads parent differently.  Different doesn't mean wrong and we need to respect the differences.

Around the 15 - 18 month appointment the Dr asked me if my daughter was doing anything I didn't like.  At the time she was really fighting me while I was changing her diaper.  I told him that.  He asked what did I want?  I said I wanted her to lay still while I changed her.  His advise was that when she would squirm & try to roll I should (in a deep, stern voice) tell her no and hold her still.  She would get the point.  The next check up, same question.  This time I had a good one!  (Little did I know terrible twos starts about 18 months!!) She "refused" to get in her stroller for our walk home from the park.  Now, at this time, I was about 5 months pregnant living in San Francisco in a 4 story walk up, on the top floor.  We were a mile away from the park, and yes, I had to walk up a hill on the way home.  So, this time, I carried her and pushed the stroller.  The Dr's advise.  Buy a bungee cord, put her in the stroller and tell her (in the firm but calm voice) she was going to stay in the stroller until we got home.  The next park visit she threw another tantrum.  A huge one.  I buckled her in & told her she was staying put.  I had drawn my line in the sand.  The rest of the way home she would do everything in her power to get me to budge.  As far as she was concerned. we were at war and she was going to win.  Little did she know, the Dr had warned me of this.  When you pick a battle, he said, you have to win.  If you don't want to win, don't start the battle.  He told me children will make themselves pass out, throw up and just about anything else to get you to give in.

I think that walk home resulted in several conversations among observers about the possibility of never having children.  She screamed like I had never heard.  Tried to throw herself out of the stroller.  Kicked,  and hit ... but I didn't give in.  And ... you know what.  I won.  That battle was over.  I can honestly say we never had a major fit regarding the stroller again.

I had a mom tell me today that she wasn't able to brush her daughter's hair.  Her (3 year old) wouldn't let her.  She said she assumed I never had that problem as she can tell I spend a lot of time on my girls hair in the morning.  I told her, that we have "that" problem about 1 - 2 times a week, but if I don't brush their hair it just gets worse and worse, so I ignore the screams and brush through the falling down and crying. There are days I do give up and say forget it ... but not too often.  It's a battle I pick and win.  The hair gets brushed.

There are battles I choose not to have.  My oldest has picked out her clothes and dressed herself since she was 2.  She has her own unique style and that's OK with me.  I know moms who don't have this option for their child.

The point is, sometimes we as moms need to be reminded, who is in charge?  When we say our child "refuses xyz" are we really thinking about what it will be like at 13 or 14 and they refuse.  I think, that if you start winning battles now, there won't be as many as they get older.  I hope not at lease.  I think we will also have practice saying no and meaning it.  I think children are looking for a parent who is in charge.  They start testing us early on.  If they are out of our control at 2, why do we think they will be easier to handle during those teenage years?  No, I'm starting now.  It isn't fun.  It is HARD, especially emotionally.  In the moment the battle happens I think so many times it would be easier to give in to my daughters ... but in the long run it will be much harder.

Remember moms, you're bigger, stronger and you can do it.