When Vivienne was a newborn, I like so many other new moms, I was given many pieces of conflicting advise by well meaning nurses in the hospital when it came to breastfeeding. One nurse told me to let her nurse (at two days old) 30 minutes on each side. I was in so much pain at the end of the day I was ready then & there to switch to bottles. Then Vivienne's pediatrician (a man in his 80's to the best of my knowledge) came in & gave her a pacifier. He told me, sometimes, babies just want to suck. It is comforting for them. It can be you (the mom) their thumb, or a pacifier. I chose the pacifier.
There have been over a hundred times I have questioned that decision. My kids are all VERY attached to their "binkis" and even know the difference between each one, have color preferences & only like the "baby" ones.
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| Coco showing off her green binki, the preferred color for now. |
I have been thinking of ways to get rid of them, short of just throwing them in the trash & saying no more. I don't want to deal with the fall out from that. I like to limit the use to when we are not in public. They also can't talk with them in their mouths.
I decided to try & get Vivienne out of the habit of using a binki & looked into creative ways that have worked for other moms. I found one I thought was cute, and decided to give it a try. Basically, explain to the kid you are giving their binki to a new baby so the new baby can have one. Good friends of ours are expecting & we were going to a family baby shower so I thought this would be a prefect opportunity to give it a try.
Vivienne was very excited about the idea of giving her binkis to the new baby. She explained how she was going to wrap them & put a note on the gift. This morning it was the BIG DAY. She gathered up about 5 binkis, some she must have had stashed away. She put them in a bag & wrote a long note to the baby.
THEN, she explained to me that on the way home we needed to buy some new binkis since that baby would have all of her old ones. I think that means, the experiment failed ... or is it just I didn't follow through? Wasn't the point of this that there are a limited number of binkis to go around?
Forget it, I said to myself. Honestly, I really don't care. One day she won't want it. I think I'll just wait until then.
Thoughts? What did you do? Is it a big deal? Am I ruining her for life?
You're such a great storyteller. Love you guys. You gave us the greatest possible gift just by being there. I'm sure we'll have plenty of binkis by the time d-day rolls around. -Jamie (& Michael)
ReplyDeleteWith Andrew, at 3, I pinned it to his pillow and told him he could only have it when in bed. It worked, and by 4 it was gone. With Maddie, oh boy, not so lucky. Or maybe it was because I was nearly 10 years older and the only way to get her to stop making noise at all was with a nuk!?!? But I told her 4 was the age limit, and on her birthday we'd throw all her nuks in the trash. She practiced for a week. Then the 4th birthday came. We gathered all her nuks up. Auntie came over, because she promised that when Maddie threw away her nuks, SHE would throw away her cigarettes and never smoke again. So, together, they threw away their "vices". That night I wanted the nuk back. She wanted it. I wanted it. Next day in the car I wanted it. But I stuck tough. Maddie was and is more stubborn than Andrew. We made it thru tho. Not easy. OH! But I do remember once on the drive from home to Jackson, when Maddie was a baby and Andrew was 8 I looked in the back seat, both were sound asleep, and he had HER nuk in his mouth!!!! When I asked him about it, he said he just wanted to see if it was like he remembered! LOL! I think it's going to be harder for you with little ones and Vivienne. But, we all have to be the oldest and the first to do things sometime, don't we? (as you and I know well!) I've also heard of people snipping the ends off of the nipple so they aren't pleasant in the mouth anymore. One friend's son threw it out the car window so she told him that was it, and it was!
ReplyDeleteMy kids never used them, but a dear friend of mine had your same issue when her daughter was 4. She tried all sorts of things and failed. She ended up just having to force the issue and say no more you are a big girl and these are for babies. You get them in a baby store or section. She made a big deal about that because the younger sister still got hers. The funny thing is the younger one gave it up quickly wanting to be the a big girl too.
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