Sunday, June 19, 2011
Father's Day Reflections
Growing up, my dad and I had our challenges. I am the oldest, and I think, the most like my dad in personality. He is a Taurus, I am a Leo (we are both strong willed, stubborn people.). One of my favorite childhood memories is my dad pulling me out of school in the 4th or 5th grade to take me to an Oakland A's baseball game. Just the two of us. When we got to the game, we ate anything I wanted: hot dogs, fries, nachos, and soda. I think a chocolate malt was in there too as well as some peanuts and crackerjacks. He was at every ice skating competition, piano recital, cheer leading event, and band review. There was, however, a father daughter "intimacy" that was often missing. He worked very hard for our family. He would come home from work and relax, but in doing that emotionally distance himself from me, or so I felt. I remember LONGING to share my day with him and being told that he was busy watching the news. As a child, I felt that if the TV was on, I was not important. I don't know if it was just a part of my teen years, or what it was but the emotional bond deteriorated and I remember having this longing for a relationship that I didn't have. I found it in a guy, who ended up being my first husband. Let's just say ... it wasn't a good relationship.
After a LOT of emotional healing and a LOT of growing up ... something about turning 30 ... I was open for finding the man of my dreams who would become the father of my three girls.
As I am writing this I am watching my husband with Coco. When he is home, his attention is on them. He doesn't shy away from diapers, bottles or tantrums. Even the nights of "I WANT MOMMYYYYY" don't detour him from doing the bath / bedtime routine so I can have a break. I am so blessed, and so are my girls. He ohh and ahhs over paintings, wears the plastic beaded bracelets, and overall just plays with them. Let me tell you ... as a mom, there is no more joy for me than seeing him interact with them.
The relationship with my own father is so much better now too. I think it is because I have grown up, and he has changed too.
So here's to Father Day. Here's to celebrating my dad, and my husband. (Hopefully he won't be too disappointed I forgot to get him a present - or a card!!)